


How Absurd

by itsnotlove



Series: You're Stupid and I Hate You [3]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Breaking into ur enemies house bc you hate him and for absolutely no other reason, Denial of Feelings, Flower Crowns, Flowers, M/M, Raijin - Freeform, izaya please you're only hurting yourself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 02:11:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9051157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsnotlove/pseuds/itsnotlove
Summary: Izaya continues his experiments by breaking into Shizuo's home... again.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pixietails](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixietails/gifts).



> In case anyone is wondering, [these](https://assets-production-webvanta-com.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/000000/51/74/slider_detail/uploads/plant/1454187018-b91a4f40efdf35b07/26948849_m.jpg) are the flowers that Izaya is playing with in this update :)

Shizuo could be described as a lot of things, but rarely was he ever described as patient. His rage was persistent and cruel, often pushing itself into situations where it wasn’t wanted nor needed, only to make things far worse than they might have been otherwise. It was infuriating in its own right, not to mention incredibly embarrassing. 

 

Or so Izaya imagined, anyway. To be so beastly when you long to hide among humanity… well, it was of no wonder that Shizuo always seemed so frustrated. Even now, with his eyes closed and his mind lost to sleep, it looked as though he were holding back some strange emotion. Perhaps he was dreaming about Izaya, and all the awful ways he’d like to murder him.

 

Chuckling lightly, Izaya threaded another long stem through Shizuo’s bleached hair. If nothing else, the flowers were hiding the hideous roots that were starting to grow out, but Izaya couldn’t help but acknowledge just how well the flowers seemed to suit Shizuo.

 

Soft pink petals circled a vibrant yellow-orange centre, making the flower seem as though it had everything on display. They were bright against Shizuo’s hair, and their pink matched the colour in Shizuo’s cheeks quite well. It looked as though he were born wearing a crown of these flowers, but that wasn’t something Izaya wanted to admit out loud or to himself.

 

The expression on Shizuo’s face became more strained as Izaya rearranged the stray blonde hairs on his forehead. Whatever Shizuo was dreaming of must have been interesting, but Izaya had no desire to think about the dreams of monsters. 

 

He pulled away and inspected his handiwork with a smug grin, but resisted the urge to take a photograph. The colour in Shizuo’s cheeks had matched the flowers a moment ago, but now, from this new angle, Izaya could clearly see that Shizuo’s face was no longer a soft pink, but a bright red. How he hadn’t noticed the true colour of Shizuo’s face was a mystery, but he put it down to dimness of the bedroom.

 

This would be the first time that Izaya had experimented with Japanese Anemone’s, and he wondered why he hadn’t earlier. Everything about them seemed to suit Shizuo- not that Izaya would ever admit such a thing to himself. Really, it was almost rude just how much they looked like a crown.

 

Something fluttered in his stomach, but Izaya squashed it before he had a chance to investigate what it meant. It was probably disgust, or something equally as appropriate, but now wasn’t the time to feel sick. This was the second night since their last skirmish that he’d broken into Shizuo’s bedroom, and he still hadn’t found a way to wake the idiot up. 

 

There were just so many options! Pouring ice water over his face had seemed like the winning idea on the first night, but bringing the water into the room had turned out to be too difficult. There was also the threat of waking the entire household, and alerting others to his presence wasn’t his idea of a good plan. After that, he’d considered smothering Shizuo with a pillow until he woke, but there was the chance that Shizuo would punch him into a wall, so that was out as well.

 

In the end, Izaya had simply left through the window. It was disappointing, and not something he wanted to repeat with his second visit.

 

Which is why Izaya found himself stringing white flowers through Shizuo’s hair alongside the soft pink ones he’d placed earlier. It had nothing to do with how well they suited the beast; it was just another way he could buy time until he figured out how to wake Shizuo up silently.

 

The ever-darkening colour in Shizuo’s face complimented the muted colouring of the petals, and Izaya hummed happily at his handiwork. Shizuo’s hair was almost fully covered with dozens of flowers now, and Izaya wished he could see his reaction to it when he woke up. Would he be angry? Would he threaten the lives of each and every flower on the planet? Or would he react in some other way?

 

Only time would tell, and Izaya would make certain to chronicle the reaction for his research. 

 

Still, Izaya couldn’t help but feel as though something was missing. All but one flower had been placed into Shizuo’s hair, and though he  _ could  _ place the final one with the others, it didn’t feel like the right decision. He glanced down at the rest of the sleeping body, and noticed almost immediately how much Shizuo’s fists were shaking. 

 

It was odd for someone to make fists while they slept, but Izaya already knew that Shizuo wasn’t normal. It was totally like him to be angry in his sleep, and besides, the white of his knuckles is just what Izaya needed to finish his masterpiece.

 

He twirled the last flower in his fingers, and took a large breath. With an impressive amount of speed and strength, he swooped down on Shizuo like a vulture, and picked apart his fist with surprising ease. Once opened, Izaya slipped the stalk of the flower into Shizuo’s palm, and made to take a step backward.

 

Unfortunately, he didn’t move nearly as quickly as he had intended, and found that his fingers were caught in Shizuo’s vice-like grip.

 

“...”

 

He yanked on his hand, trying in vain to slide his fingers away from Shizuo’s sweaty palm, but that only made the trap tighten further.

 

“...”

 

Well, this was unexpected. Who would have thought that the aroma of these flowers could have such an intriguing effect on Shizuo while he slept?

 

The fingers around Izaya’s shifted, moving clumsily until they were linked together awkwardly. Izaya watched their hands with a curious expression, until he found himself nearly hypnotised by Shizuo’s thumb dragging slowly across his own. The room suddenly felt humid, the air far too thick to breathe comfortably, and his heart beat almost painfully in his chest.

 

It must be an allergic reaction to the flowers, he deduced. Even if he’d been spending copious amounts of time with them, that was the only explanation.

 

He yanked at his hand half-heartedly, and his heart sped even more when Shizuo’s tightened around his. This really was a terrible situation to be in. Maybe he could cut his hand off? But if he did that, then people would notice, and he’d have more trouble blending into the crowd-

 

“I hate you.”

 

Shizuo’s voice wasn’t as tired as it should have been, but was heavy with something else. For the first time since they’d met, Izaya actually found that he was afraid of him.

 

“Is that any way to greet someone when you wake up?” Izaya countered, his voice shaking slightly. His hand squeezed Shizuo’s in an attempt to escape (which made perfect sense), before he was pulled roughly down onto the bed. He landed with a soft  _ thump _ , but quickly moved into a seated position beside Shizuo.

 

“You were meant to wake me up.” Shizuo’s voice was quiet, and his thumb started to stroke Izaya’s once again. “Idiot.”

 

“Well, as you’re awake  _ now,  _ it doesn’t matter.”

 

“Tch.”

 

“So, why don’t you let me go, and-”

 

“You put flowers in my hair.” Shizuo frowned, but it looked a little forced. “Weirdo.”

 

“I didn’t.” Izaya’s eyes narrowed, and he attempted to tug his hand away once again. “You’re dreaming.”

 

Unconvinced, Shizuo scoffed and squeezed Izaya’s hand absentmindedly as his other hand travelled to his head. It pet the flowers in his hair gently, as if he were making a point. “If I was sleepin’ right now, I wouldn’t feel shit.”

 

“And how could you know that? Do you dream about being injured?” Izaya laughed cruelly, but stopped attempting to remove his hand from Shizuo’s. “Are you really such a masochist that you dream about that?”

 

“I’m not a masochist!”

 

“Then how do you know you don’t feel pain when you’re asleep?”

 

“Because!”

 

“ _ Because  _ isn’t a reason, Shizu-chan.”

 

Shizuo pulled his hand away from his head and moved it down until it was resting on the top of Izaya’s already trapped hand. He frowned, this time genuinely, and plucked the white flower out from between their grip. It twirled in his fingers slowly as he thought, and Izaya couldn’t help but watch the battle raging on Shizuo’s face. It looked as though he were debating something, but there was no way to tell  _ what  _ he was debating.

 

“It doesn’t hurt when I dream about you, shithead.”

 

“...” Izaya’s fingernails dug into Shizuo’s skin, but the latter didn’t so much as flinch.

 

“Fuck, I really hate you.” With a heavy sigh, Shizuo moved his hand to Izaya’s face and brushed the stray hairs from his cheek with his knuckles. His frown deepened, as did the colouring of his face, and he pushed the flower behind Izaya’s ear the same way he had a few days earlier. “You won’t leave me alone.”

 

Izaya’s breathing halted and his eyes grew wide as he tried to figure out just what Shizuo was playing at. Was he always like this when he was half asleep? No, it must be the smell of the flowers making him act weird. There was no other explanation, so that had to be it. 

 

“Stop it.”

 

“You started it.”

 

“You accosted  _ me  _ with a  _ sunflower! _ ”

 

“After you started it!” Pushing himself in a seated position, Shizuo leaned himself toward Izaya menacingly. “It’s your fault!”

 

“I didn’t  _ do anything! _ ”

 

“You did! You- You fucking-!” Shizuo spluttered, unable to find the words he was looking for. “Shut up!”

 

“Is that all you can say?” Izaya’s fingers kept a firm grip on Shizuo’s. “Let me go, and I’ll  _ gladly  _ leave!”

 

“I fuckin’ hate you  _ so fucking much!  _ Just shut up, or-!”

 

“Or what, you’ll break my arm off?”

 

A vein in Shizuo’s forehead throbbed as his lips thinned, and Izaya wondered if he’d be able to escape the room in one piece. Silence seemed to echo between them, making both aware of just how close they were to each other, and Shizuo’s grip on Izaya’s hand loosened. 

 

“Or I’ll make you shut up.” Shizuo’s grumble was almost a whisper, and he leaned himself further still. His forehead bumped against Izaya’s, but neither made any further move. “With my mouth.”

 

“Are you threatening to  _ eat me? _ ”

 

“No!”

 

“You really are a monster!”

 

“No! I’m not- Agh! Fuck it!” Shizuo closed the distance between them quickly, his lips bumping against Izaya’s almost painfully. Neither moved once they connected, both apparently too surprised by the attack to do anything other than stare at each other as their lips connected.

 

After a while- too long a while- Shizuo moved away and let himself flop back onto the bed as flowers flew into the air around him. He moved his arm to cover his face, and reluctantly let go of Izaya’s hand.

 

“You bastard. You made me do that.”

 

“...”

 

“I hate you so fucking much.”

 

“...”

 

“I hope you die. Oi-” Shizuo moved his arm slightly so that he could peer over it at Izaya. “Shit, your face is all red. You oka- OI!”

 

Within a second, Izaya was stumbling toward the open window and clambering out of it. The heat of the room seemed to follow him, even after he’d escaped, and he sprinted down the empty street in an attempt to outrun it.

 

Whatever had happened wasn’t something that had happened. It was a dream, or a trick! Yes, it was a trick. Some sort of weird attack, that’s all. It meant absolutely nothing and Shizuo was an idiot.

 

The only reason he was touching his lips as he ran was to make sure they hadn’t been bitten off.

 

The only reason his heart was pounding was because he was running.

 

Nothing happened, and he hadn’t allowed a monster to kiss him.

 

And he  _ definitely  _ hadn’t wanted Shizuo to keep kissing him.

 

It must be the flowers. That’s it, the allergic reaction. This was just a fever dream! No wonder he hadn’t taken a photo of Shizuo with his flower crown- this was all just a dream.

 

By the time he reached home, Izaya could almost believe nothing had happened. He crawled into bed, still fully clothed, and closed his eyes. When he woke up, he’d laugh and wonder why he’d ever believed such a thing could be true. Any uneasy pang in his stomach could be attributed to illness, and he could forget about it forever.

 

Until, of course, he found the white flower still tucked neatly behind his ear.

**Author's Note:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS KAY.


End file.
